Quit Phubbing Your Family!

Phone + Snubbing = Phubbing.

Earlier this month, we had a screen free week. No TV, computer, tablets, and the minimum phone usage possible. We don't allow our kids to watch too much TV to begin with, usually just Friday night movie and maybe 1 1/2 hours throughout the rest of the week (on a good week, of course!). My husband and I, however, watch something most nights, usually for 2+ hours, while we're checking our phones or playing on the iPad, and I notoriously check my phone during the day. We all know that taking a break can be a good thing. Let me tell you what I learned. 

Things that changed: 

• We played with our kids more.
• We talked to each other more, and the conversations were more meaningful.
• Our kids had to find ways to entertain themselves. They had to stretch and grow and be creative with their toys. 
• My kids fought less.
• Our time together became quality time together.
• I became more aware of the people around me. 
• My house was cleaner. I had the energy to do what needed to be done.
• I yelled less.
• I was more patient with everyone.
• Our days went smoother. My kids were less resistant when I asked them to do things. Chores were less of a battle.
• Life felt less "noisy." There was no constant pull toward social media or barrage of images and distractions from a screen. My brain had time to breathe.
• My days were much more productive. My time for myself comes at the end of the day, when the kids are in bed. I actually accomplished many of the things I set out to do because I wasn't distracted by a screen. 
• We went to bed earlier. It's a lot easier to feel tired at 10:30 when you're actually doing things instead of vegging out until 1 in the morning.
• My husband and I "dated" more. We played games, laughed, read next to each other, cuddled more; things that usually got put on the back burner for weeks because we were watching TV instead. 

Things I learned:

• It is SO easy to grab that screen and zone out.
• Our loved ones miss us when we disappear behind a screen. They are much more aware of it than we give them credit for. 
• Sometimes it is difficult to actually talk to someone. It takes courage and thought and a desire to actually know the person, especially when you don't get to jump to a screen when things get awkward or the conversation lulls. 
• I was more content with my life. I wasn't constantly looking at others' perfect Instagram pictures or Facebook posts, comparing my life to theirs. I was finding happiness right where I was. 
• It is so, so worth it. Relationships became much more meaningful and fulfilling. 

Now, this didn't create a revolution where we're going to sell our TV or switch to flip phones or put our phones in a DistractaGone when we're home. But it did cause me to reflect on how often I ignore the world around me for a screen. Most people cannot go completely screen free, and there is nothing wrong with checking social media or watching TV. But, we can be much more selective of the time we spend with our screens. If you really want to show the people around you how much you care about them, give them your time. Put the phone away, turn the TV off, and focus on the people around you. I promise they will appreciate it. The power of sincere interaction is amazing.

The Valentine You Forgot

Valentines day has come and gone, and although you have expressed your love to your spouse, family and friends I guarantee there is one valentine you forgot this year, 

yourself. 

Self-love is one of the most quickly overlooked and forgotten aspects in our society. Why is that? Why are we the first ones to forget about our own well-being? It is not selfishness to take care of your own needs. 

 Photo Credit

I’m not talking about superficial self-love. The kind that magazine ads, commercials, and Hollywood want you to believe is most important. Not the kind that is captured in that perfect selfie and then washed off that night.  Not even the kind that you get from going to the gym or sticking to your diet perfectly.

True self-love comes from inside and radiates out.  

It’s a mindset, a way of living.

So what are some things that we can do today to show that forgotten valentine that we love them? How do we create a daily ritual of self-love?

Turn off your phone, your TV,  your laptop and take a few minutes daily to get to know yourself a little more. I promise you are worth your time. 

I have been loving the method of moisturizing with intention. After your daily shower when you are good and relaxed take this time to thank your body for all that it does for you. As you moisturize your eyes love them for all the beauty you see through them. As you moisturize your lips love them for the smiles and words they express. As you moisturize your hands love them for all they help you accomplish. As you moisturize your feet love them and thank them for taking you everywhere in your day. Continue your love and awareness as you nourish each part of your body.

This usually takes only a few minutes, so I like to add a little reflexology massage to my routine. I follow this guide I found on pinterest. Again, it only takes a few minutes but the benefits are lasting.

I know it might sound cheesy and it might sound lame but give it a try. Just once. You might be surprised. If you find that this method doesn't work for you that is totally fine too. Just don't give up. Find a way that works for you to center yourself.

Slowing down, listening to your body and being mindful and present in the moment will benefit you and in turn all of those that you love. 

If you truly love yourself and realize what a blessing and a treasure your body is you will not fill it with harmful sugary, fatty or greasy foods, you will want to nourish it with good whole foods that have lasting benefits for your wonderful body. You will not want to go to the gym because you have to be as skinny or as ripped as ________. You will exercise because you know your body benefits and grows when you use it well. If you see the good in yourself you will easily see the good in others as well.

If you do try this method out I would love to hear about your experience in the comments below. 

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If you find another method that resonates with you let me know what you do in the comments. I would love to try them out myself. 

Love is in the Air

Ah, February. This month brings so many wonderful things, like tailgate parties and a plethora of food for Super Bowl Sunday, a not-so-cute giant rodent that sees his shadow and tells us we have six more weeks of winter (thanks, Phil, we really wanted more snow), a month-long celebration and remembrance of our African American citizens and the changes they made in our nation for the better. And, of course, who could forget the one day in the year that honors love and strikes fear in the hearts of some men: Valentine's Day.

Alright, I know Valentine's Day is a pretty cliché topic, but before you decide to skip this post, just hear me out. I know Valentine's Day is a big deal for a lot of people; it's a day where they can declare their love more affirmatively and spend more time with their sweetheart. I also know that Valentine's Day is also known to some as Single Awareness Day, and you end up buying yourself that bouquet of roses and box of chocolates. However you celebrate this day of love, this week I am presenting some fun and different ideas as to how you can make the most of this holiday.

I love the arts. Literature, art, music, theatre... it all brings this feeling of wonder, adventure, and excitement. Unless you absolutely abhor the arts and the bountiful joy that comes with them, I think you will find this idea quite riveting.

Let's take a look at this painting by Renoir, Dance In the Country.

I hadn't seen this painting before this weekend, but it's pretty great (plus, I'm a sucker for Renoir). Just look at this couple. They came out for a lovely lunch in the warm afternoon and have ended up on the dance floor. The movement in this painting is wonderful. You can see that this gentleman has just swept up his fair lady from their table, caught up in the music and his admiration for her. She's trying to hold onto her fan as they sway to the music and the man's hat (probably the man's) blows away in the breeze. Finally, just look at the young woman's face; she's looking right at us with a look that unmistakably shows how "completely, and perfectly, and incandescently happy" she is (Pride and Prejudice quote, anyone? It's quite appropriate for this Love theme). 

When I look at this painting, I think of the love, the joy, the fun, the spontaneous nature that a relationship should have... especially the spontaneousness. And these don't just describe romantic relationships. Being spontaneous makes life fun and interesting; it brings life to relationships as you build memories with someone you care about. And men, I can tell you that most women will love a little spontaneity in a relationship every now and then. 

So, we have a week to prepare for Valentine's Day, and here's what I propose: do something spontaneous this week or on Valentine's Day to show those you love how much they mean to you. If you need some help, here are a few ideas: 

• Randomly buy or pick flowers for your loved one on a day they're not expecting it (like Valentine's Day or birthdays) 
• Share a fun, special memory you have with that person 
• Grab your lady's hand and start dancing with her in the kitchen 
• Take your loved one to their favorite restaurant just because 
• Watch their favorite movie at your next movie night (even if it's a super sappy chick flick, guys. Seriously, it will mean more than you think) 
• Leave a note in their purse, backpack, lunch... somewhere where they'll find it later in the day 

The list goes on and on. 

I'm sure you have heard of all of these, and hopefully you have done some of them, too. But let's face it. It's the small acts of love that mean the most, especially when they aren't performed on a day they're expected, like Valentine's Day. So go out and show your love! Don't go crazy, but, you know, just let those you care about know how much you really care. Trust me, it will make them feel like a hundred bucks, and both of you will feel the love that should be felt on this LOVEly holiday.